🍬✨The Nexialist #0104

the dangers of big d*** energy | dutch directness aka speakability | flowers | flash of light | soft porn | for granted | cute aggression | nochentera

Jan 19, 2023

Welcome to another week of cyber-weaving of brainsparking links, the nexialist

hello folks, i hope this e-mail doesn't find you unwell like me. this week, i was hit by some heavy flu. i’m still getting better, slowly, but thankfully i did have a bit of energy to keep the nexialist running. i hope you enjoy it and send me some “get well” energy while you read/watch/listen/share.

some news: next week i’ll be flying to são paulo and will spend 7 weeks around Brazil, some time working, some resting, some reconnecting with family and friends and mostly avoiding the cold amsterdam. i’ll miss my boyfriends, siblings and friends (and my bike), but it will pay off.

now… enjoy this nexialist 🫀

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🍆the dangers of big d*** energy

if you know me, you know how important the d*** discussion is to me. it is undeniable that our society is obsessed with penis size, and this is exacerbated and perpetuated by pornography and other media. Zeke goes on to investigate if there’s such a thing as a perfect penis and stumbles on different people: a surgeon that performs enlargement surgeries, sex-toy makers, intactivists (activists fighting the unnecessary and normalized circumcisions that happens in the US) and a man who does enlargement injections. the examples he brings might be extreme, but they are symptoms of us not talking enough about it.

Recently, there's been a lot more male frontal nudity in pop culture. But is what society is being shown an accurate representation of the average size of the male genitalia? VICE Producer Zeke Spector spirals down the rabbit hole to figure out how the depictions of penises in the media vary from the average and how these higher beauty standards can create conflict in society.

🇳🇱dutch directness aka speakability

thank you, Juan, for sharing this with me. when i moved to the Netherlands i was warned about the “dutch directness.” coming from brazil, where we culturally “beat around the bush” quite a lot, i’ve come to find it quite refreshing and something i must learn. they say it is inherited from Calvinist traditions and it is still practiced today. now i learned the dutch word for it: “bespreekbaarheid (speakability) – that everything can and should be talked about; there are no taboo topics.” in the video, they even connect to the dutch view on nudity, which is much more laid back than in the US or Brazil.

at work, i’ve witnessed clear feedback that something was not working and then immediate engagement of the team to help the person who was responsible. at first, i was shocked to hear the “dry” feedback, but then i thought it was much more productive that it was not taken personally AND now we needed to find a new solution. of course, hearing the truth is not always nice, but it helps us work on what needs to be improved.

💐flowers

thank you, andrea, for sharing your miley obsession with me and everyone around you 😜 everyone is talking about miley and her flowers and i have to take my hat off for her as the song is at the top of the charts in many countries/streaming services. it’s genius how she did this so people would not only enjoy the song, but also put some easter eggs and talk about the song. i think most of them are not confirmed by her, so it’s her fanbase who is connecting the dots. some of the easter eggs:

-the song and video were released (and teased) on her ex-husbands’ birthday (liam hemsworth), which already got people talking about it.
-the lyrics respond to bruno mars’ “when i was your man” which her ex dedicated to her back in the day;
-the video was filmed in the very house where he used to bring his affairs;
-she wears a very similar suit to what he was wearing on the red carpet when he told her to “behave.”

there are probably more, but yes, she knows what she is doing. it’s also interesting to consider how the success of the song can be tied to the more individualistic and independent society we live in. “i can love myself better than you can.” but of course, on a more positive take, flowers is a song about healing, resignifying and finding new meanings (now it’s not only her ex’s birthday, it’s the date she released her record-breaking single, or the infamous cheating-house became now eternalized in the video…) and most importantly, finding your self-love again. you go, girl!

🚨flash of light

last year i has the privilege of watching Róisín live, and it was such a euphoric experience. not one song she played sounded exactly the same from the recorded album versions. they were quite different, and that made it feel that much more special. i think it’s such a smart way to think of live concerts, of adding value to the live experience. now we can all listen to one of the live versions and enjoy. get ready for goosebumps.

🍬soft porn

this song just got me at first ~~sight~~ listen. i just love the rhythm in her pronunciation against the drums and guitar. francesca wexler is Nigerian and is based in Toronto. can’t wait to hear more from her.

🔨for granted

yaeji is one of the coolest artists at the moment, and i’m so happy she is releasing an album soon (‘with a hammer’ next April). press play and enjoy her cuteness, talent and coolness.

😻cute aggression

thank you, Juan, for this supercute video. i just loved the animation and relatable it is. who hasn’t had the urge to just squeeze or stuff a cat in your mouth? once i pinched my baby cousin when I was 8 or so, and i remember the feeling of cute aggression pushing to do it. she cried and i was embarrassed. now i’m happy to learn there might be explanations for that. i’m also happy to learn there are scientists looking at that.

🪩nochentera

this song is one of the contenders to represent spain in this year’s eurovision. the first time i heard it, it made me cringe a bit and think: “this is for 13-year-olds). it really sounds like k-pop in Spanish, and later on i realized it could have been produced by the same people who made A*teens (the ABBA spinoff at the beginning of the 2000s). oh well, i’ve been listening to it quite a lot and i will not apologize for it. life is too short not to be cringe.

see you next week, cuties 🫀

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